Lasagnius, The Sheet
July 23 - Aug 22
Earlier in the week Vermicelli is in heat so expect your hard disk to make a noise like a mockingbird on Ritalin. By Wednesday all your underwear will turn into pineapple rings and you will at last get a postcard from your long-lost mother now on the faculty at a terrorist training camp in Baluchistan.
Health:
Make an effort to become more rounded by eating Rigatoni al Forno three times a day until October.
Single's Lovescope:
You are instinctively aware that "the one" is circling your cosmic horizon, barely out of reach. After posting your profile on 23 dating sites you will receive e-mails from seven hot Russian inmates with bad skin.
Click
on your star sign to see your Pastascope
 Fusillonius |
 Zitius |
 Radiatorus |
 Farfallus |
 Lasagnius |
 Linguinius |
 Rigatonius |
 Tortellinius |
 Raviolus |
 Fettucinius |
 Spaghettius |
 Cannellonius |
What Sign Am I?
Click your sign
for more details
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Fusillonius |
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| Zitius April 21 - May 21 |
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| Radiatorus May 22 - June 21 |
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| Farfallus June 22 - July 22 |
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| Lasagnius July 23 - Aug 22 |
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| Linguinius Aug 23 - Sep 23 |
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| Rigatonius Sep 24 - Oct 23 |
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| Tortellinius Oct 24 - Nov 22 |
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| Raviolus Nov 23 - Dec 21 |
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| Fettucinius Dec 22 - Jan 20 |
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| Spaghettius Jan 21 - Feb 19 |
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| Cannellonius Feb 20 - Mar 20 |
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